While traipsing through Vermont, I had to make a stop to pay my respects to those who’d fallen. Those Ben & Jerry’s flavors that just didn’t make it and were laid to rest. I quickly visited the graveyard and nodded sympathetically once I saw who they were.
Oh Pear? You sound like you were a sweetie. Sorry your stint didn’t last.
Vermonty Python? Ringling Brothers didn’t make it, either. No circuses now, flying or otherwise.
Purple Passion Fruit? American tastebuds are just too vanilla.
Schweddy Balls? Sorry. No one wanted to put you in their mouths.
There were more; about 34 in all. Flavors like Wavy Gravy, Peanut Butter & Jelly, Ethan Almond, and Holy Cannoli. I almost wanted to dig up Holy Cannoli, but the ground was frozen and I was afraid that lingering in the cemetery was going to give me more than just brain freeze. So I scurried out of there and made my solemn promise to them all:
I’ll remember you.
What ice cream flavors do you think should be put to rest? The first one I would bury is some disgusting blue, red, and yellow concoction called Superman.